Disappointment again. 103 lbs. I wanna die, I really do. I will fight and come back stronger...bye bye.....

Left myself a little...

First I have to say that I felt a little jealous of one person I'm fan of and desided to add to new pictures too. So here they are:



And then I must admit that I left myself a little this week since I worked a lot, ate too much and didn't do much exersise. Of course my temporary job has lots and lots of walking and going up and down a stair so at least I can say I wasn't seating all the time.My weight still remains at 97 pounds and that's all. I hope you guys do great at your effort, many many kisses...

Amelia.

I'M DISGUSTED!!

Hello beautiful tiny ladies! I think the scale can't move lower whatever I do. It stuck at 97, fuck!! I don't either feel like writing here, I'm tired of feeling frustrated and fat. And finally one day I will answer to all these girls who keep telling me "OMG you're so tiny,OMG you're so thin,eat something", NO, I'm not tiny and skinny YOU ARE SO FAT, THAT'S IT!!Eating all the time,and then complaining you can't lose weight, it's so gross.And you make me tell lies and pretend that I eat normally and everything and "I just exersize that's all". Damn...

Kill the food lover!!!

Today I felt I ate like hell!! I consumed 900 cals and managed to burn only the 500 of them. Well I had crunches too, but I don't know how many cals I burnt. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!! I'm so horrible, why can't I help myself? Why can't I stop dreaming eating? It's too hard but I cannot stop, no way. I saw one of my friends yesterday, I haven't seen her for a long time. OMG, she was soooooooooooooooo skinny, sooooooooooooo skinny. I couldn't take my eyes of her. How did she do that? why I can't????
And another thing:My scale is broken so I'm completeley helpless :-(

I took these photos this morning. I don't have any readers so no one can tell his opinion. At least I will have them here to see my progress...

Good evening people! It's 00:45, I'm typing some words and then fall asleep. Yesterday a funny thing happened. I met one of my brother's friend and he looked me horrified. "OMG, how are you like this?"he said,"why did you lose so much weight? You're really ugly like this you know that?"I told him I'm just tired, and I just got back from work and that is why I look like this, but he continued to stare at me like I was an alien.


The point is I was really happy! Iwas happy he told me I look so thin, I didn't even care about the "ugly". Is this ok? I don't know, and I don't care.Better ugly than fat for me.I also have to step on scale tommorrow. There might be a little possibility that I've lost a pound or something. Ok, time to bed.

Nighty nighty...

ana consumes me I consume nothing ep 3

Hello everyone.Today was a very quiet day. I decided to write down my new measurements since the've changed a bit. Basically my hips are now 34,64inches, and my thighs are 20,66. So there...Till now I've consumed 490 calories,later I'll exersize too. And sometimes I start to feel a little ok and then something happens and it starts all over again and I feel I don't try enough. I saw this girl on you tube wich explains how difficult and dangerous anorexia is and all I kept thinking was "OMG she is so beautiful and thin, how am I like this??!!"

It would be really nice if I had someone to understand me, someone to talk about it,someone to help me control myself and stay strong

Bye for now...

Good evening! I haven't written for a while but since I didn't make any progress what's the point? I exersize every day, and I started working at a cafe, which includes much walking and going up and down a stair all the time. I suppose I'll gain some money cause at the present time I'm broke, and I'll stop thinking food. The only good thing that happens in my life is my boyfriend. My amazing boyfriend who tries all the time to convince me that I'm thin, that I'm beautiful. He doesn't know how I feel about it... I'm fat, ugly and short.Really how can my legs be so short and fat while my upper body is so skinny? I think someone has taken two pieces from two different girls, stuck them together and HERE I AM!

Ok, enough blablabla. Take care and be strong!Smouts!!!

Angry!!!

I should't be angry though. I'm 99.2 lbs and I should be really happy, but no. I'm angry and scared. They won't let me be thin,they watch me all day. Yesterday night I was doing so well. I ate only half plate of noodles and suddenly my father started screaming at me that this isn't right, and that I can't exersize only and not eat at all,and that eventually I will break and start eating everything and become a fatty. That's great, that's really great dad!!And made me eat 3 pieces of rusk with some kaser. Not a lot of calories but that's not the point. The point is that I started beeing a little proud of myself without great effort (I don't try a lot not eat, I'm just not hunrgy)and they want to ruin it!!I know what I want and no one's gonna stop me.
PS I ate almost one fish for lunch and that's it for today.Kisses beauties!!!!!!

At last some progress...

I'm 101,2 pounds. I lost something AT LAST! I eat one time the day, a small amount of food, and then nothing. And I exersize everyday.Lets see some more progress.Come on!!!!!!!!!!


"Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything's cool as long as I’m gettin thinner"
Lily Allen

I finished my workout and I managed to burn 400cals (could be better,anyway...).So now I'm going out with my lovely boy and I'm really concerned about what am I supposed to drink in order not to gain calories.I will see... That's it for today, cu tommorrow,smouts...

I NEED INSPIRATION :-(

Hello beauties!! So as the tittle says I really need some inspiration from someone close to me.When I have people around me (especially my boyfriend)who tell me all the time "oh, you are so thin" or "you r fine why don't you eat,I get really angry. Like I don't know when I'm fine, and right now I'm not.I'm fat!!! And I'm obligated to take these contraceptive pills that make me fat even If I don't eat, even If I exersize, my thighs are like two fat bottles.
Today I've consumed 700-750 cals but I'm going to exersize this evening and burn at least 500 of them. Kisses sweeties....

Frastration again!!! :-(

Good morning ghildren! So today I wake up and see that I weight one pound more than yesterday. How can this happen????Damn... I'll try harder today. So far I've had one coffee (40cals), and eaten one boiled egg (80cals),2 slices of turkey (60cals) and one bite of spaggheti because I was cooking and I had to taste it to see if it was ready (it was a small bite so I guess it's about 50cals, i don't know). 230cals so far. I'll try not to pass them for today.Kisses...

Here I am again. I worked out for about an hour by running and that's about 350cals.It's not enough but I couldn't run more. I hope I won't eat nothing until I go to sleep. I may drink only a glass of wine because I'm going out with my boy. So kisses dears :-))

Hi!!

So this is just a journal I will use while I'm desperately trying to lose my extra weght. I will write down the calories I comsume and the exersize I have. Oh and my measurements. So here it is:
Height:5'3"
Weight:103,4 pounds.
Waist:22,8 inches.
Hips:36 inches.
Thigh:21 inches.
Uper arm:9 inches.
Neck:11 inches.
Wrist:5,3 inches.
BMI:18,1
My highest goal kilos:as lower it can gets...
As you can see I have a VERY BIG problem with my thighs and my hips, they are huge cause of my bodytype, bullshit!As far I've eaten some potatoes in the oven with very little meat and some vanilla ice-cream (700cal all of them). I'm going for a coffee with my boy and then I'll exersize as long as I can.CU sweeties...